Reflections of a Man Almost Completing His Boyhood Dream

"I want you to go to college and make something out of yourself", says my loving and supportive mother of 25 years, time and time again. God bless her and her continual support of me over the years.

The hardest undertaking of my life is almost complete. The end of the tunnel is near, and I can see light!  Ever since Autumn of 2006, I have been a full-time college student. It's quite embarrassing at times to admit I've been a college student for nearly 7 years (a certain Tommy Boy quote comes to mind along these lines, but I won't bother you with Farleyisms). During college, I have experienced some life changing events:

• I came to true faith in Jesus Christ on December 29, 2007 at the CRU Radiate conference in the nation's capital (the most important event that will ever happen to me, with my birth in second, hehe). I also got to witness my mother come to faith as well with God using me to share the Gospel with her. Thank you God and hopefully my dad is next in line.
• I have went through three girlfriends. One of them I am still with and I can honestly say this very beautiful woman never ceases to put a smile on my face.
• I lost my grandfather Paul Eugene Dutton in the Spring of 2007, a man that I looked up to my whole life. It was, and still is, the hardest death of a loved one I have ever had to deal with. I miss him tons and I know I will see him again in heaven.  R.I.P.
• I completed a life long dream of mine by going on stage and having a crowd cheer for me (1,000 college students to be exact). I gave dating advice at a Christian conference and became known as the "ladies man". This was the first and only time in my life that I ever had that much attention from women, lol. This made the list because it was so unexpected to happen, haha.
• I had to make the hard decision of moving back home from 3 1/2 years of living in Morgantown attending WVU. I thought it was the wrong decision at first but, seeing where I am in life right now, it was part of God's plan. I have learned so much about myself since moving  home and have matured so much. I have also met some wonderful people (including my current girlfriend) since coming back to the Mid-Ohio Valley and I love each and every single one of you and thank you for the impact you have made and still make in my life.
• I had the opportunity to work with an organization called Campus Crusade for Christ and I have met some of the greatest people ever through that organization, be it through WVU Cru, Summer Projects and the many conferences I have attended. I love and miss every single one of you and thank you for being a friend to me. 
• I discovered many of my interests that I still have. They include: ministry, music, video games, journalism, business (never thought that would be one), photography, studying theology and philosophy (to an extent).
• I have witnessed what a horrible disease is capable of doing...to someone very close to me. My mom did a battle with throat cancer beginning in the early part of 2011. I witnessed the very woman I have admired since being a little boy fall victim to a disease I once joked about but truly hate now.......but she came out VICTORIOUS!!! Through prayer, support, awesome doctors and a POWERFUL God, mom conquered it and is doing better than ever. She is a woman most men (or mature men) dream of being with.Through this experience, me, my mother and father (step dad but he pretty much is my father) have never been closer. I love my family to pieces and I am very happy with where we are at.

It's been a long and hard journey filled with many victories, upsets and challenges but it is almost complete and I will officially be the first person in my immediate family to have a college degree. I thank everyone for all their support of me over the years and please pray that I can complete this dream. Praise be to God and all the support I have gotten and, to finish, LET'S DO THIS!

Does human life have value?

"So God created man in His own image; He created him in the image of God: He created them male and female". Genesis 1:27

With this verse in mind, what is your thoughts on human life? Are we REALLY intelligently created by an intelliegent, omni-present God or are we just a bunch of cells and organs randomly put together by mindless processes with no initial purpose in life? Hmmm, interesting though. Let's dive deeper into this.

Let's bring some law and biology into this. We all know that apparently, every seven years, your body is completely new through many biological processes. So, let's say you commit a murder and was never convicted until SEVEN years later. The judge and court rules YOU commited the crime so YOU do the time. But wait, aren't you a whole new person sever years after so aren't you innocent now because of this new body. You are probably saying wait a second Andrew Dutton, watchu talkin bout fool? Well, let me break it down.

God created human beings in His image. In Genesis 1:26, He gave us dominion over all, repeat, ALL living creatures. Because we are created in the image of God, we have some laws that are attached. In Genesis 9:6, it says "Whoever sheds man's blood, his blood will be shed by man, for God made man in His image." So, looks like you aren't off the hook Mr. Murderer. I have more to add.

The apostle Peter said in Acts 10:34 "In truth (notice the word truth), I understand that God doesn't show favoritism." It also says in Proverbs 22:2 "The rich and the poor have this in common: the Lord made them both. With that said, we all have equal value to God. No one is better than anyone else. A famous German atheist philosopher named Friedrich Nietzche said: "Equality is a lie concocted by inferior people who arrange themselves in herds to overpower those who are naturally superior to them". Also realize this man lived the last 11 years of his life in a psychological stupor. In other words, he was crazy! Look at how he belittled the being made in God's own image by saying that some are superior to others. We know where this philosophy led: A Holocaust that killed 6 million precious lives! This goes against what God said in the Bible. And remember what happened to Hitler? He killed himself right before he was brought to justice. Look who loses in the end.

We are also called to care about our fellow man. It says in Proverbs 14:21 "The one who despises his neighbor sins, but whoever shows kindness to the poor will be happy". It also says in Matthew 5:42 "Give to the one who asks you, and don't turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you". As humans, we are so valuable to God that we are called to care about one another because God cares about us. Because we are His image bearers, we are to reflect His characteristics to one another.

There you have it. Humans are not purposeless organisms who just randomly showed up through mindless, random creation or an evolution form of monkeys (that's an insult when you think about it). We are all God's children and we are all equally loved by Him. So, the next time you feel like you are "great" enough to pick on someone you view as inferior, weak, dumb or whatnot, remember a big God is watching these actions and He's not gonna let you off the hook, unless you repent of course. :) Happy days all.

-Dutt Dutt

One: The Loneliest Number

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is like him."-Genesis 3:18

Let me assemble for you a couple scenarios. Imagine you are in the park sitting on the park bench reading the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" by Joshua Harris and, BUM BUM BUM, a couple walks by holding hands. Or, how about you find yourself logging onto facebook and the good ole "stalker feed" comes up. You can't help but notice that *insert guy's name here* and *insert girl's name here* are in a relationship with that big red heart right next to it with a goofy picture of them at Disney World together. Or consider that same message, except "is engaged" or "is married" is there instead of "is in a relationship". Even worse, imagine you see a guy walking into a movie theater, who is surrounded by women, and they are all going to the "Sex and the City 2" premiere or a Taylor Swift concert while you, single American man, watches (alone) in sadness.

Ok, maybe the above scenarios are a little ridiculous (and I hope humorous), but I feel like they are somewhat true for many people. In American culture, you can't hardly get away from the whole "relationship" or "hook up" concept. It is broadcasted in a lot of music (and in artist's personal lives), Hollywood and pretty much in everyday life. We can't get away from it. It's even been a struggle with me. For two years this coming June, I have been single and have learned a ton about myself, life and God. I've probably learned more in these past two years than any other part of my life. The bad thing is that I have also experience a lot of loneliness and depression during this time.

I find myself so much being hard on myself for still being single while I see many of my friends getting into relationships, getting engaged or married or seeing some of my single guy friends go out with some girls on dates while I stay at home alone. This actually has been a lifelong struggle. For years (and I still do everyday) always tell myself "I'm not in a relationship so I must be ugly" or "I have a terrible personality where no woman could spend the rest of her life with me" or (I hate this) "I'm still single at age 22 so I must not be a man". I also feel that millions of other people can relate to this. For the record, I don't want pity for this. The reason I write this is because I know I am not the only person that struggles with this and I hope this note could help other singles and even people in relationships.

Now, I don't mean to bash people who are in relationships, engaged or are happily married. I'm happy for all of you! God bless all of you and I pray you would all experience eternally lasting relationships with each other. I am so happy for my friends right now who are getting ready to be married or who are married. But, why do we desire relationships in the first place. Well, it's because it's the way God made us.

Right after God formed the woman (Eve) from Adam's rib, Adam said, "This one, at last, is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called woman for she was taken from man." After this, the Bible says, "This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh." This is found in Genesis 2:23-24 God made man and woman for each other. Marriage is supposed to represent how Christ (the husband/groom) loved the church (the wife/bride). We also must consider other Bible stories.

Look at Jesus. He is the most important human being even in history to walk the face of the Earth, yet he was never married or never experienced a relationship, according to The Gospels. Paul, the second greatest missionary ever in history, was single as well. Heck, people in my own life knows this as well. My mother (God bless that awesome woman), who experienced years of bad relationships (I was the result of one of them) never got married until she was 42 years old and has been married now for 12 years but boy has she had her fair share of marriage problems. See, relationships aren't always perfect. One of my relatives didn't get married until he was in his late 40s. When I think about it, several of my friends are still single and not for bad reasons at all. It's all part of God's plan.

We all want a relationship. We all want to feel loved. Yet, a relationship can satisfy that, to a certain extent, but it is only a real relationship through our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ that can eternally satisfy our eternal hunger for love. We really need to examine the Gospel to see what it means. Don't be envious of or angry at couples because they found that other person but be happy for them and wish them the best. Also, don't be angry at yourself or beat yourself up for being single. Christ literally gave up everything for us because He loved us. Look what God did for Leah in Genesis 29. She was the sister of the much better looking Rachel and both of them were married to Jacob. Jacob loved Rachel more because of her good looks, but God ended up loving Leah because, well, no one else would. He even opened up her womb and produced part of the 12 tribes of Israel. The line of Judah came out of her womb, which King David and Jesus Himself was in. Also, Jacob was committing a sin by having more than one wife for himself (a frequent sin throughout the Old Testament, but that besides the point. Anyways, back to the Leah story. That's how our God loves us. When we feel no one else does, He will do what others will not do and love us. THAT IS HOW AWESOME OF A GOD WE SERVE! We need to realize that God is the true bridegroom and we (as believers) are the bride. Don't blame God for your singleness. Use it as an opportunity to really find out who you are and who you are in Christ most of all. Our relationship with God should be the highest priority in our life above all other relationships, including ones with spouses. BE ENCOURAGED!!!

"We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19

In Him,
Dutton

Stumbling In The Dark to Find Truth

"They exchanged the truth of God for a lie, and worshiped and served something created instead of the Creator, who is blessed forever. Amen." - Romans 1:25

Where am I? What is this? Who are you? Who am I? Why am I here? What is the meaning of life? Is there someone else out there? Are we being watched? Why do things happen? What is reality? Did Al Gore really invent the internet?

This past week was a big learning and growing experience for me. Through stuff that happened, I really got to know people better on my campus, especially in my judo class and journalism classes. It's great to get to know the people in your area because you really know what the culture is like. I have noticed so many broken and desperate people on campus and the people don't even realize they're brokenness and desperate need. Sad story! I really need the courage and the boldness to witness Christ to them and allow the light he has to destroy the darkness I see them in.

My step-father battles bodily pain and experiences a life not yielded to Christ. My mother knows Christ but experiences bodily and mental hurt. My mother's pain is so great that I had to call the squad for her Friday afternoon after experiencing extreme pain in her body above her stomach. When she got to the hospital, it turned out to be just back and rib pain. A day before, she experienced some high blood pressure. On top of that, she has stresses in her life to deal with. I know God doesn't give us more than what we can bear, but where is God in the face of adversity? It's hard. My step-father is getting shoulder surgery next Friday, I think. It gives him much pain plus he still doesn't know Christ. Once again, I am learning the principle of sacrifice to serve others. It is not easy by any means, but what did Christ do for us on the cross again?

I checked out a new church below Parkersburg called First Assembly of God. It is a Pentecostal Church. The guy that runs Chi Alpha at WVUP invited me there. It was weird at first. I'm used to churches where worship and praise are there but nowhere near explicit as it is in the Pentecostal denomination. They emphasize the power of the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is so important to a believer. It is ultimately what assures believers of their salvation. It also is God's provision to those He has chosen to serve Him and do His will to be a light to those who don't walk in the light of Christ. I liked it! The people were welcoming and loving to me. In fact, the guy that invited me there offered me his house to have lunch. I enjoyed it and got to experience fellowship I only experienced with Chi Alpha. Fellowship with others who are children of God is so important. We were not created to be alone. Even those who aren't saved even experience some kind of fellowship. This is something I haven't had much of since being at WVU but I am working on being intentional with believers and making friends with those who aren't believers.

Greg, the man that runs Chi Alpha at WVUP, asked me if I would be interested in being president of Chi Alpha on campus. Huge decision to make!! If I were to be a leader, I want pride to be kicked out of me! I refuse to be a leader with pride issues because it is ultimately God who leads us. Please pray for me!

Overall, people in this area need Jesus so bad! I notice so much worldliness around me. This has got to stop! People are out there dying and will end up in a place of eternal damnation if those who are believers do nothing. I need prayer to get motivated and shed some light to those stumbling in darkness. If you are in darkness, you won't be able to see a thing. I know personally one won't find truth in darkness because one can't see! Please pray for this! Something has got to be done about the spiritual state of people all around me!

"The path of the righteous is like the light of dawn, shining brighter and brighter until midday." - Proverbs 4:18

I'm glad God is a better guide in our lives than a stupid GPS suggesting that Chipotle is the best restaurant in the area if you are looking for good cuisine.

In Christ,
Dutton

The Weary Traveler and Faith

"Come to Me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest." - Matthew 11:28

My body aches. My brain hurts. My heart breaks. All around me is darkness...... but light exists. It exists! I have seen a light more glorious than the bright streets of Paris on a clear, warm September evening. This light is in the form of a might warrior, one who has come to save us from ourselves: the ultimate evil. The light I speak of is Jesus Christ.

That light has what's been carrying me this past week. Getting used to being back home was a little rough at first but faith in God seems to make things like 1859485945804358029384.77 times better. I have noticed a difference in my mood and mental state. Slowly, I am coming back. The light truly is getting brighter. I personally love how God's truth can take the darkness out of our life. His truth sheds light on how backwards "the world" really is.

I am now on ADD medicine. It has given me more focus in my life, allowing me to communicate better with people. Depression comes and goes but the love and grace in Jesus Christ blesses me with the will to fight it. Slowly, things are getting better but there are still issues in my life to be settled. Everyone has them. The Bible does call us to suffer. My mental state is improving. God's loves really does cover up so much.

My mom's health is still not too good. She suffers with a back that gives her horrendous pain, breathing trouble that forces her to have an oxygen tube hooked into her nose 24/7 and is still recovering mentally from a stroke. My step dad has a hurt shoulder and will have to have surgery soon. Because of this, the physical burden of doing daily tasks falls on the youthful and healthy shoulders that God blesses me with. My body is weary like that of a traveler who rests very little. It's not easy but loving others takes sacrifice. Actually, it takes the denial of self, something I have had to learn lately.

God, in His infinite love, has blessed me with a new ministry: Chi Alpha. I do miss Crusade but I feel God will do big things in the future with me and other college students being in this ministry. The Lord knows that much of the Parkersburg metro area needs a "divine wake-up call", a big reason why I came back home.

So, God is good in ALL that He does, not matter what our selfish minds (mine included) could ever make us believe.

I have learned this past week that faith is SO important to recovery in any situation. People say God doesn't exist. The world is too evil for a loving God to be floating around. Well, that's a big lie. HE DOES EXIST! I don't need to touch Him to believe of His presence in the universe. That's why it's called "faith". My body hurts from this past week but it's only a temporary form. Faith in God gives me the strength to carry on.

.....but still, the weariness is too much to bear.

"The heavens were made by the word of the Lord, and all the stars, by the breath of His mouth."-Psalms 33:6

Gotta love how God isn't a tool, unlike the watchers of "Jersey Shore".

In Him,
Dutton

Enter The Prodigal Son

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not rely on your own understanding." - Solomon (found in Proverbs 3:5)

The air has a chill. The ground seeps with cold, wet snow. The thick clouds block the view of the amazing expanse called "sky". With this cloudy mess and the deluge of snow coming from the heavens, no sunlight can get into the slightly darkened atmosphere. Sounds depressing doesn't it? This analogy well describes my first day on an entirely new campus.

From a hasty decision, I now find myself attending the college of West Virginia University-Parkersburg. I saw many familiar faces from ages past. People I once saw everyday I rediscovered after 3 1/2 years of being in another part of the state. You could say I got a bit of a taste of high school all over again, with more faces to boot.

With all of this upon me, one could say I was the prodigal son returning to an area I once called "home". This "home" no longer feels like a home to me. To tell you the truth, I felt like an American tourist trying to order a German schnitzel from a French cuisine restaurant found in the Little Italy section of Moscow. Sounds confusing, right? Good, welcome to how I felt today. Seeing no familiar faces from WVU Morgantown made me miss what I did have.........but here's the thing: this area needs God just as much as Morgantown. The difference: I must learn to trust in God's understanding as I stride along the road of recovery from a mind going slowly insane.

This was my choice. I must now step up to the plate and led the God of the universe hold me by the hand and guide my little baby steps. I want to really know what it's like to put full trust in God. I wanna see an intelligent God work wonders on a mind with so much brilliance but so much madness. I want to see God guide me to a group of believers with their eyes set on Him ready to be there with me. I want to trust God with miracles though this experience of a long gone low timer returning to point of origin. May God be given the Glory forever!

I guarantee you'll see a whole new me the next time you see me!!

"The Lord your God is among you, a warrior who saves. He will rejoice over you with gladness. He will bring you quietness with His love. He will delight in yu with shouts of joy." Zephaniah 3:17

In Christ,
-Dutton

out of tune with life

Lately, the weather in WV has been gorgeous; very gorgeous for this time of year. The leaves have fallen but it's still nice out. People outside having a good time, enjoying the crisp autumn air. People are in love with the season. That is good and all, but lately I haven't had the joy that others have around me. I don't know what's going on but lately I have been in a somber mood. It may seem like nothing is wrong on the surface but I have had years of practice of hiding my real feelings within me. Just goes to show you how men don't want to show any emotion. I desire to be joyful again and experience the love of God and fellowship but it hasn't been happening. I have had some struggles in my life lately but I feel that is still no excuse to not be joyful. You could say I have felt out of tune with life. I have noticed that on several days all I wanted to do was just stay in bed and do nothing, even waste away. In fact, some days I have even contempated suicide. I have grown to dislike the campus of WVU lately because of all of this. I have just wanted to get out and now that I know I will be here for a full fifth year, that was the icing on the cake. Even when people encourage me, it does no good sometimes. I even doubt several of my friendships right now. This might be a season in my life or it could be a massive attack on me from Satan. I don't know. All I know is that I really miss the joy in God and fellowship with His followers. I desire to have more God in my life. I have tried so hard but I just feel a distance between us. When I feel far from God, I feel far from life itself because God is the One who gave me life. He is all I have. I don't want to give up. I want to keep on fighting for God's ultimate purpose. I just pray that, even with these circumstances, that God would look more beautiful than anything any mortal eyes have ever seen. I want a heart for the lost and others in general once again. I cry out to God right now as a broken human being. "Break off these chains and set me free".

-Dutton