out of tune with life

Lately, the weather in WV has been gorgeous; very gorgeous for this time of year. The leaves have fallen but it's still nice out. People outside having a good time, enjoying the crisp autumn air. People are in love with the season. That is good and all, but lately I haven't had the joy that others have around me. I don't know what's going on but lately I have been in a somber mood. It may seem like nothing is wrong on the surface but I have had years of practice of hiding my real feelings within me. Just goes to show you how men don't want to show any emotion. I desire to be joyful again and experience the love of God and fellowship but it hasn't been happening. I have had some struggles in my life lately but I feel that is still no excuse to not be joyful. You could say I have felt out of tune with life. I have noticed that on several days all I wanted to do was just stay in bed and do nothing, even waste away. In fact, some days I have even contempated suicide. I have grown to dislike the campus of WVU lately because of all of this. I have just wanted to get out and now that I know I will be here for a full fifth year, that was the icing on the cake. Even when people encourage me, it does no good sometimes. I even doubt several of my friendships right now. This might be a season in my life or it could be a massive attack on me from Satan. I don't know. All I know is that I really miss the joy in God and fellowship with His followers. I desire to have more God in my life. I have tried so hard but I just feel a distance between us. When I feel far from God, I feel far from life itself because God is the One who gave me life. He is all I have. I don't want to give up. I want to keep on fighting for God's ultimate purpose. I just pray that, even with these circumstances, that God would look more beautiful than anything any mortal eyes have ever seen. I want a heart for the lost and others in general once again. I cry out to God right now as a broken human being. "Break off these chains and set me free".

-Dutton

What this blog is about.

Well, blogging seems to make everyone a journalist, so I shall partake in this bit of pop culture. I am a journalism major at WVU, but I also have a passion for something we would call "truth". That is what this blog is about: Truth! From time to time, I will write articles on here conveying something you won't readily find in a post-modern society that we live in today. So yeah, that is what this will be about. In the movie "A Few Good Men", Tom Cruise's character yelled, "I want the truth!". Jack Nicholson yelled back, "You can't handle the truth!" This is true. We as human beings have a difficult time hearing the truth, especially about ourselves (myself included). I hope this blog will be a blessing to others so expect more posts to come.